Being a Forever Student
Going Back in Time
I'm a student again! I've enrolled in a Dark Room Black & White Photography course at my local junior college and I'm so excited to try something new. I’ve always regretted never learning more about film photography and the magic that the dark room offers. So, at the end of December after feeling super burnt out on ceramics, I signed up on a whim and I'm so glad I did! I’ve been craving more experimentation, more assignments, more art talk.
Most of my classmates are half my age and it's been so fun and sweet to be around different people I wouldn't normally be around. It's also been a trip to reminisce about what I was like as a student their age. The first day of class was just like time travel, going back to my 18 year old self. So weird and so awesome! As I was sitting in the room with eraser board and large projector, I could remember who I was back then. The majority of the students are right out of high school, at least half my age (I’m 41). How old you are has nothing to do with learning new things, but I couldn’t help but remember my naive, super shy, younger self and how I perceived my small world back then. In some ways I’m very different from those days; I’m now much more confident in myself, my ideas, my opinions. When I was younger, I was very aware of what others might think of me and that definitely held me back. But some things haven’t changed either, I’ve always been a good student, always one to get excited with assignments and thrive with due dates.
Yesterday was our first critique. The project was to create 3-4 silver gelatin prints that we processed in the dark room from our first roll of 35mm film. It was not easy to say the least, but I am happy with how my first group of images came out. Many test strips came out black and a 1/4 of my negatives were either damaged by light leaks or from my improper placing of negative onto the reel for developing. The theme to explore was landscape and I chose to look at my domestic environment. No matter the medium, I’ve always been one who gravitates towards the mundane and I tried to capture moments of everydayness that in some ways are also self-portraits of my routine. I focused on composition and waited for the light to do its thing.
As AI starts to sneak into our way of living, whether we are aware of it or not, I find myself rejecting any new technologies headed my way—craving more time with analog methods. Not only does it feel better, but it slows everything down. I take endless photos with my phone, so many duplicates in a day which can be great when needed, but it really takes me out of the moment I may be trying to capture. With a camera that requires you to adjust, focus, to read the light—it makes everything more purposeful and meaningful. And not to mention the cost of every snap with a 35mm or polaroid camera. My eyes are more open.
Just like when I was beginning my introduction to ceramics, when I needed more instruction and more access, I signed up for classes that required more of a time commitment from me. For 5 months, I’m devoting two afternoons a week to photography, and because I work 4 days a week, I can easily fit this in my routine. I’ve switched my schedule up a bit, but the change in pace to my workdays has been a welcome one. I’ve been getting up extra early (which for me is 6am) and that’s created a bit more breathing room. There’s no stress or guilt when I go to class. It’s important that I don’t feel like I’m squeezing myself because 1) I hate rushing and 2) I strongly believe it’s an unsustainable way to live. The point of working less is to afford time to explore, try new things and see where it takes me.
What would I do if I won the lottery? My response is always that I would go to school and get all the art degrees. The dream is to be a full-time art student for life. I realized this week that that dream of being a forever student is actually, entirely realistic. Not necessarily full-time, but I could enroll in one course every semester for fun and it’s completely doable. So, for now, that’s my plan for the foreseeable future. I’m 7 weeks into the semester and it’s been a wonderful new addition to my life.
I also wanted to mention the aspect of affordability here. Community college is inclusive and very financially approachable. Signing up for this semester-long course was under $200 and I didn’t need to buy anything else. All the supplies, high-quality film and paper are provided and I borrowed a friend’s Canon AE-1 as I figure this new hobby out. This is all to say if you've been thinking of trying something new or regret not learning a particular subject in your past, take a look at the course catalog of your local junior college and sign up! Create room for creativity. It truly is never too late.
Grounded in play, Clayfulness is a newsletter exploring what it means to be a small business with transparency. This is a place where you’ll find failures and victories from my studio practice, how I stay motivated and when I’m not. This is more than a monthly word exercise for myself, but a space to understand what this little business is and where it wants to go. I love reflecting and thinking about the future, but writing in the present moment can capture what I'm really thinking and I'm getting better at it the more I do it. I call it Clayfulness because clay is the background of my life, but there's also more. My life is full of other endeavors and being playful is one of my core principles in everything I do.
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I really love your shelfie! <3